human after all

208 notes

In my experience, long before a relationship/friendship ends, there’s almost inevitably an instance or two in which the other person says or does something that makes you immediately and very strongly think, “I don’t like that. How could they do/say it? Jesus.” Rarely is it something big or dramatic. Frequently it is a small comment or act, maybe a stupid meanness that was unnecessary and achieved nothing. After the first gut reaction, your social self— your reasonable peacemaking self— usually steps in and offers up all sorts of reasons and pale, not very believable excuses for what they did. But the truth is it was very wrong, you do NOT like what just happened and your dislike is valid, instinctive, visceral, and deeply honest. Almost always it is a sure sign this connection will end and most likely soon.
Jonathan Carroll